How Rounders Can Help You Win Money Off Your Friends: A lesson in movie induced dude-itude.

People give Rounders a lot of credit for a lot of things. It’s popularity in 1998 (probably? I’m too lazy to look it up) helped out with the poker boom and taught a lot of people the basic rules of No Limit Hold’em.

As a reader of this blog, I guarantee you’ve seen that movie at least a few times. It makes poker looks cool. It makes seedy Russian gangsters look cool. It even makes Matt Damon look cool.

If you’re sitting around with a few of your buddies and Rounders comes on cable, you’re going to wind up playing a card game that night. The closer to the credits that you play, the better your friends are going to be think they are at cards. It’s pretty much a lock that you’ll take their money.

Idiots get influenced by movies all the time and don’t even know it (stops to smoke cigarette, drive Audi, drink Pepsi and play hand of poker).

Seriously – when you’re a little bit light before heading out to the bar, invite your friends over early. What? Rounders was playing in my DVD player? Huh. May as well keep it on…What? You know, that’s right…That IS my chip set. Let’s have a game.

The trick is not to stare directly at the movie as Ed Norton and Matty D might just make you think you’re awesome, too. I just stare at the CM Coolidge painting to the right of my TV or the nekkid lady cards I got at the gas station, because I’m classy like that.

You’re Welcome.

“I recollect a young man putting the same question to Eddie the Dude. ‘Son,’ Eddie told him, ‘all you paid was the looking price. Lessons are extra.’”

Only problem is no one can get in the game anymore. One rounder Chris Belentta sat under some pretense but after they found out he was a pro he couldn’t cross the street anymore with out some sort of legal hassle. Even his regular club – Four Shades got shut down. It had been open since 1907…

“Oh michael, you got some things for me? just put them on the desk over there.”

“..He paying you for this late night s#%$ kid?”

“Knowledge is my reward sir,” Michael responds with a smile.

“haha, Well it aint worth it. Why don’t you become a jockey – do something useful. haha?”

“Kids a little tall isnt he Dean?”

“Enough with the Belmont recruiting spiel, your bet.”

“Michael is lead council in the court your presiding over next week, besides he could use the background if his gonna clerk for one of you fellas next summer,” Abe mentions casually.

“Abe, i thought you liked the kid, why you wanna make him a civil servant?” retorts the Dean.

“A word to the wise kid, stay in private sector.”

The amazing thing is that in the collection of all this great legal minds, there inst one poker player here.well

Call, Call, “Raise – Professor raises,” Interjects Michael.

Not sure if Im gonna bring my legal career to a crashing halt before it even starts, but I just cant help myself.

Check, check, “Check to Martin and Louis over there.” “Check to the raiser.”

“Whats the limit?” Michael starts

“Big bets $20. $20.”

“Bet $20.”

“You’ve seen half the hand! How the f#$% are you betting into us? are you sure this is wise Abe? its your money the kids betting with.” Comments the Judge

“Its plenty wise, we know what we’re holding and we know what your holding,” Retorts Michael.

“The f@#! you know what we all got!”

“Summer clerkship in your office says I know what your holding?”

“I don’t bet with jobs like that but lets just say ill put you at the top of the list if your right.”

“..Ok. Well you were looking for that third 3 but your forgetting the professor folded it on 4th street and now your representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair but he knows their no good. Judge Kapan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short and Mr Isen is futilely hoping his queens are gonna hold up. so like i said, the bet’s $20.”

Who knows what this is from? Probably the best poker movie made…