The one thing that has eluded Hellmuth throughout his poker career is a WPT title. With three final table appearances to his credit, he has always managed to fall short of the trophy, finishing fourth in the Gold Rush event for $34,000, third at Foxwoods for $281,000, and sixth at the L.A. Poker Classic for $229,000.

Hasan Habib joins Hellmuth on his quest for a WPT title and is fourth in chips. Much like Hellmuth, Habib is no stranger to running deep in the WPT circuit, previously finishing second, third, and seventh at circuit events for over $2 million in earnings.

Joining them are Matt Keikoan (World Series of Poker bracelet winner), Mclean Karr (who battled his way back from 10 big blinds), Dan O’Brien (guy with Irish last name), and internet pro Andy “BKiCe” Seth, who sits atop a decent chip lead. O’Brien finished 11th a year ago in this very tournament, a potential story of vindication which has Disney inspirational movie plot written all over it.

A rant regarding the poor play of Europeans, how the aggressiveness of internet players is bad for the game, or “if it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d win every one” from Hellmuth has yet to be heard. With blinds at $8,000/$16,000 and a $2,000 ante, there is plenty of room for play, one of which will hopefully knock Hellmuth’s ego out of orbit so it comes crashing back down to a felted reality like a shooting star.

Here are the payouts and current chip stacks:

First place: $878,500
Second place: $521,200
Third place: $292,800
Fourth place: $234,300
Fifth place: $175,700
Sixth place: $117,000

(1) Andy Seth – $2.1 million
(2) Phil Hellmuth – $1.4 million
(3) Dan O’Brien – $1.1 million
(4) McLean Karr – $1.1 million
(5) Hasan Habib – $455,000
(6) Matt Keikoan – $371,000

From a press release last year announcing their annual partnership with the WSOP and their two seat give away promotion, Milwaukee’s Best Light marketing manager, Stefan Dinwiddie, stated the following:

“The WSOP Main Event is undoubtedly the world’s premier poker competition, and Milwaukee’s Best Light is proud to give amateur poker players a shot at playing against the best of the best and winning millions. Serving as official beer sponsor of the World Series of Poker gives us a chance to acknowledge and reward loyal drinkers, because Milwaukee’s Best Light is also the unofficial beer of poker games everywhere.”

Unofficial beer of poker games everywhere, huh? Let me break this down and translate it for you. What Stefan really means is:

“It would be an honor for our beer to be considered the least bit average because we put as little effort as we can as brewers into producing and marketing it for people who can only hope and ultimately expect their entire lives to be just that–average. We hope that in marketing our frothy peasant ale to an inbred, inferior race of burger flippers and car mechanics by dumbing it down to a sissy-hating, estrogen abusing audience, we too will be able to cash in on poker and the hopes and dreams of blue collar workers praying to one day win it big and move out of their double-wides.”

Yah, I said it, and I didn’t even have to mention how it tastes, which if you were wondering is like the diesel fuel their target audience puts into their Hemi trucks. If this is “Milwaukee’s Best,” I don’t even want to know about their worst.

Too late…

Starting things off, after years of evading weight loss bets, Doyle Brunson couldn’t resist the 10-1 odds on the $100,000 pooled together by a plethora of Vegas pros in 2003. At the height of Atkins and with the help of Weight Watchers, Doyle dropped below 300 pounds, but gained a little back when he put the $1 million he cleared in his pocket.

Mike Svobodny, a famous backgammon player, once bet Ted Forrest $7k that he couldn’t run a marathon at the University of Nevada Las Vegas track field. As if running isn’t unbearable on its own, the blistering heat made the track so hot, it melted the soles of Forrest’s shoes during his 26 mile run. He reached the finish line and immediately went to the hospital with the feet of a Kenyan.

If you thought Huck Seed was just a great poker player and a distant relative to Johnny Appleseed, you were wrong. He is also one of the most notorious prop betters on the pro poker circuit. The following are some of his most famous wagers:

• He once took a six-figure bet that he couldn’t break 100 four times in one day on a golf course in sweltering Vegas heat using a sand wedge, five iron, and putter. On a day where the mercury nearly popped out the top of the thermometer at 120 degrees, it only took him six rounds.
• He was given two months that he couldn’t learn to do a standing back flip towering like the Jolly Green Giant at 6′7″. He did one before the end of the 60 days and another after he collected his $10k.
• Phil Hellmuth once bet Seed $50,000 that he couldn’t stand up to his shoulders in the ocean for 18 hours. He was right three hours later, when Huck came in to shore pruned up and smelling like high tide.
• Man of betting legend or stubborn pride? Seed’s most recent wager involved him proclaiming that he could run a mile in 4:39. If and when he transforms into an Olympic runner at the age of 40, his 33-1 payout will be brought to him upon by a yeti wearing a clown suit riding a unicorn.

Prop bets and the poker community go hand in hand. From the golf course to feats of strength to the criminally insane, these bets feed a gambler’s compulsive appetite for always needing something to be on the line.

For anyone that missed last night’s episode of High Stakes Poker, what is arguably the largest prop bet ever made took place between Ivey and fellow high stakes pro Tom “durrr” Dwan. Dwan bet Ivey $1 million that he couldn’t give up eating meat for a year. At a price that takes some people a lifetime of hard, honest work to make, Ivey has to refrain from chicken, fish, beef, and pork. That MBFN. Dwan–get in touch with me and I’ll do it for $100,000. Let me know. TTYL!

For a better look into Ivey’s lifestyle, disregard for money, and his fearless ability to place anything and everything on the line, ESPN took an incredibly enthralling and intimate look here.

As for prop bets, the game of poker has had a long laundry list of famous pros, stupid bets, and irreparable regrets. Below are some of the most notorious:

• Gavin Smith, Jeff Madsen and Joe Sebok recently had a three-way last longer bet during the main event of the L.A. Poker Classic. Sebok, first to be eliminated, now has to get tattoos of both Smith and Madsen on his body. Madsen was next to go and only has to defile his body with Smith’s face. Only…
• Howard Lederer, a vegan, was bet $10,000 by David Grey that he wouldn’t eat a cheeseburger. The melted goodness on top wasn’t the only cheddar Howard got his hands on that day. He immediately let go of the tree he was hugging and chowed down on the beef patty, walking away with some easy money.
• Easily the most infamous prop bet ever involves high stakes gambler Brian Zembic. A friend of Brian’s bet him $100,000 that he wouldn’t get breast implants and keep them for a year. Defying all laws of nature and manhood, Zembic went through with the procedure, paying for the surgery that replaced his dignity with 38Cs. He remains a walking one-man circus sideshow, getting $10,000 a year for the life of his money making chest.

At 2:15 p.m. during day four play of the €5,000 no-limit hold’em main event, the assailants stormed the hotel, looking to raid as much cash as they could. At some point, they were seen fighting with security officers in the main hotel hallway. Media members witnessing the scuffle rushed into the ballroom where the poker events were being hosted, shouting in German about what was taking place in the main hall. Pandemonium and confusion spread like wildfire, as a wave of chaos stampeded through the playing area. Players and press ran to the back corner of the room, scouring for exits, as other flipped tables over for makeshift cover.

The robbers left as quickly as they ran in, and after 15 tense minutes, players began returning to the ballroom amidst a sea of tipped chairs and tumbled chip stacks. Thankfully, no shots were fired, and the only injuries that occurred were some scuffs and bruises experienced in the ensuing stampedes for exit signs.

Not only did the robbery disrupt the main event, play in two other events (the €1,000 no-limit hold’em event and the ladies €300 no-limit hold’em event) came to a standstill. Due to the circumstances, tourney officials allowed entrants to withdraw from the latter mentioned tourneys and receive a refund for their buy-in. They received such an overwhelming response that the €1,000 event was eventually canceled. The main event and ladies event resumed play three hours later.

Here is the most recent statement released by the EPT:

“Yesterday at approximately 2.15 pm, an armed robbery took place at the European Poker Tour event in Berlin. Nobody was seriously injured. Four armed men were involved in the robbery which targeted the tournament registration desk outside the tournament area.

No shots were fired and the suspects quickly fled after a security guard intervened. The police investigation so far has shown that the suspects had a handgun and a machete. Contrary to tabloid reports, no Kalashnikov assault rifles or hand grenades were used. The suspects did not enter the tournament area and the money taken was substantially less than what has been reported.”

The investigation is ongoing and local law enforcement is asking for any information that will help bring the masked robbers to justice. Wanted for questioning are the Hamburgler, Carmen Sandiego, Shredder, and Evan Drago.

EPT Live cameras were rolling, televising coverage of the remaining field of 20 in the main event and caught the commotion on film.

When people could easily download the poker software of their choice and within minutes be playing live people from across the world, game developers thought they could cash in by having you play, what else, a computer. Did I mention this computer would look like the pros you saw on TV? Cool! Time to put on my WSOP hat, t-shirt, and sunglasses, put my Milwaukee’s Best Light in my WSOP koozie, and sit in front of my Playstation 2 and take on Greg Raymer or Annie Duke. It’s like I’m actually playing for high stakes from the comfort of my couch! And if there’s one thing I love more than pretending to be playing pros, it’s being one. You could play other people online as your favorite player and rake in all those fake, meaningless, digital chips. I reraise you what shred of dignity I have left. I’m ALL-IN!

Howard Lederer seemed to be the official spokesperson for these DVD coasters, whoring himself out to the front covers of what seemed to be a dozen or so similar titles, each indistinguishable from the next. At the game’s core, a horrible mechanic, similar in every way, shape, and form to a poker bot. It played like it knew your hands because it did. Shove 8 high and it would call you with 9 high. Make a river bluff and it would call you down every single time. There was no point to even trying outside of jamming every hand and seeing how many in a row you could win.

What’s the worst part about this game? It’s a sequel. What’s even worse than that? Realizing somebody must have purchased the first title in order for them to make a sequel. Just imagine being the poor bastard getting this for Christmas when all the other kids were getting Halo 2 and Metal Gear Solid 3. At least with a stocking full of coal, you can light a fire and do something useful. Instead, you’re stuck with Howard’s gimmicky stoned-faced intensity starring back at you, his thank you for buying him a nice dinner with your parents’ purchase.

Besting a six-handed final table with notable poker phenoms Jason Mercier (recently mentioned World Series of Poker (WSOP) Europe final tablist/WSOP bracelet winner) and Daniel Alaei (World Poker Tour champion/WSOP bracelet winner), Seiver (WSOP bracelet winner himself) climbed to the top of the heap, staking his claim in the $425,334 first-place prize and trophy.

Heads-up play concluded when Seiver’s AsJs held against the pre-flop all-in of Alaei’s QdJd. Seiver faded Alaei’s flopped straight and diamond flush draw to become the champion. With his win, he moves just under $2 million in lifetime tourney winnings.

Now I use the term “champion” loosely because he is really just a “winner”. While these events bring out some of the biggest names in the game, with all due respect, it’s tough for me to call a 41-man event a “tourney” and the person coming out the other side a “champion”. Truth be told, it’s really just a rich man’s sit-and-go, which with the inflated buy-in, replaces the need for an additional 3000+ players in the field to have a huge payout for the top prizes. Don’t get me wrong–these are some of the greatest players in the world and combating their skill probably negates having to wade through a sea of no-names in your way to the top, but is that truly an accomplishment? I won a 45-man sit-and-go once. When is my trophy arriving in the mail?

Police raided the Twin Falls Senior Center in Twin Falls, Idaho when word of an illegal poker game reached their station/general store/post office. The culprits? A regular group of residents enjoying a $20 buy-in Texas hold’em game. Tossing walkers, dentures, plates of pea soup, and anything else that stood in their way, officers proceeded to shatter what little joy the elderly had left and broke up the game in honor of state laws and another slow day at the office.

Idaho law states: “risking any money, credit, deposit or other thing of value for gain contingent in whole or in part upon lot, chance, the operation of a gambling device or the happening or outcome of an event, including a sporting event, the operation of casino gambling including, but not limited to, blackjack, craps, roulette, poker, baccarat or keno.” In fact, there is nothing written in legislation that permits gambling young or old.

Regardless, something such as this puts a face on the ridiculousness that is gaming legislation. Just imagine grabbing the creamed onions from your grandma next Thanksgiving and telling her she can’t enjoy them because you say so and you can see said face for yourself.

On tap for your prime-time poker fix is High Stakes Poker on GSN at 8 p.m. EST. Season 6 has been off at a breakneck pace, with Phil Hellmuth and Norwegian pro Andres Hoivold going busto in just two episodes.  Tonight promises more action, with Pro Jason Mercier fresh to the table with monstrous stacks of fresh cheddar. Mercier will then be our tour guide on over to the 2009 World Series of Poker Europe (WSOPE), where he leads the pack, holding almost a 3-1 chip lead over the second largest stack in play.

The WSOPE event comes to a close tonight at 9 p.m. EST on ESPN2. Shown in two one hour segments, the culmination of 334 players gets down to the nitty gritty of it all, with many familiar names and faces hitting the felt for the coveted first place finish worth over $1.2 million. Nothing short of impressive, Daniel Negreanu returns for his second consecutive WSOPE final table. He’ll be in good company, with 2009 WSOP Main Event final tablists James Akenhead (9th) and Antoine Saout (3rd) joining him, as well as Card Player CEO Barry Shulman, father to 5th place Main Event finisher Jeff Shulman.

Tune in for three chock-full hours of the greatest show on earth that isn’t the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.